I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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