She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
