some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
