I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
