New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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