So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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