This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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