if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
