can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
