No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
