So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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