we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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