I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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