and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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