Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
