You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
