You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
