I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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