susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
