one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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