If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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