i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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