So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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