Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
