Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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