I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm really into asian looking animals
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
