i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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