So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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