So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
