I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The best revenge is premature balding
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
