he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
