I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
