Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
