So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
