i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just high enough for therapy.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
