we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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