She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
