I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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