i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
