whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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