At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize