We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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