Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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