Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
