I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
