is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
