for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
