I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
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I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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