also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
