K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
