I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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