Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
