and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
