i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He shit in the fireplace
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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