My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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