I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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