Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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