There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
its liver damage thursday
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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