WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
