forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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